Friday, April 1, 2011

Bila nak habis study ni????

This is not the question everybody should ask to any Ph.D candidate...But I keep questioning this to myself again and again. This is my 5th semester and I desperately want this to be over huhuhu:((

A friend of mine said:

"It's between you and god, this is what I learn  through out my study. If you (referring to me) think that you've had it  hard enough, think of others that were thousand times harder than you..."

Thanks to her wisdom words, that I keep reminded myself to be more patient. May through this hardship we find the way....Insyallah

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Catch Up

It's been a while, me, malas nak blog...It's not like I don't have anything to write on, but so malas nak upload...So, alang2 dah rajin ni I'm gonna summarize the whole things huhuhuhu....

Let me start with our raya celebration which was in my hometown first, with our theme! The rest of the family members look good in orange, but I think I was lost in the color hehehehe...whatever!!!, won't let the color made me small...apa2 asal I suka:))). We took the opportunity to bring their nephew and niece for makan2 as it's hard to find a good time for big family gathering.So, we went to Marry Brown and had our dinner there...

On our back to kampung...
Adam with his cute face...
Their only nephew and niece...
My mak & abah:)
Makan time:))
We went back to KT on fourth raya. Unfortunately, we didn't even had time to visit our relatives as Adam was admitted due to fever!!! It wasn't serious actually, as Adam only having a high fever due to exhaustion, but we were frustrated with the diagnosed by the Doctor. We went to the specialist hospital in KT. It is the only one specialist here. They classified this as a unique case as Adam had a high fever with no swollen at his tonsil (Actually, the med rep didn't even had a thorough look at the tonsil!!!). He refused to give an antibiotic and forcing Adam to be admitted to the hospital. Even the so-called specialist was not special either and the nurses there were not well trained as well as the poor services with the super expensive charges!!

Posing at Hospital....suka buat muka cute!!!
Ala2 model gitu:)))

Next is our college convocation. Hmmmm... we were assigned in "pertandingan Mewarna" a very tiring yet enjoyable experience for us...But, next time,PLEASE assign others to accomplish the task, as this really needs a rotation (letih gilaaaa!!!). Aiman & Alisa took part in the competition for fun only, as winning was far beyond reach huhuhuhu.

Lambatnya nak habis warna!!!
All kids are busy coloring

There was another great event  during the pesta Konvo which was "Tayangan Amal GAZA". I brought Aiman and Alisa along so that we together boleh muhasabah diri.... Hate the fact that we the ENTIRE muslim in the world are hopeless in helping the palestinian fought over only few thousands ISRAELS. So, for us, the least contribution is BOYCOTTING israel and its ally products...

Alisa's fav aunty... Aunty Ng:))) They're like sister!!!!
Aiman sempat posing:) Aunty azna hid her face huhuhuhu....
My study...ok la, slowly progressing (asal kan gerak, betul tak:)) with full loads in hands, I'm really pushing myself harder in achieving the target! May Allah be with me...Ameen..

Back to work, I've been framed again:(((  It's the same person with rotten heart!! Well, I took it as part of the challenges in completing my PhD. There is a say "A journey to success is not easy". Well, I supposed it's true....

Haaa!!! Here comes my (actually our) new addiction; self treatment!!! We ( me and the gang) found a new port to accomplish the mission:) Best gilerrr!!! A one stop centre: mandi wap, berurut, bekam, acupuncture and so many mores!!! With most of the treatment I've undergone, I could be their products ambassador hahahahaha!!! It's really a best self indulgence place at a very affordable price...So, call me if you wanna know the address;)

Well, that's all for now:) I'll keep up blogging when I'm free huhuhhu....

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Baking and teaching

This week is the third week of the new semester. So,class running as usual. I'm teaching a new batches students from other faculties. It's been a while I've been stuck teaching students from our faculty. It's not that I don't like it, but with so many things happened around me, I'm actually prefer to go outside the faculty:( As I mentioned on my last entry, I need time to heal...)

I was assigned to teach four subjects that are 2 diplomas and 2 bachelor subjects, which is ok la as long as not that 'subject'. One of my class is packed with over than hundred students. Alhamdulillah I'm actually enjoyed being in the class with them. I guess this is it...don't send me back to the faculty huhuhuhu....

Meanwhile, Ramadhan is just around the corner and I'm busy baking for hari raya orders.Alhamdulillah, thanks Allah for the rezki...As usual, I only receive order for Kek Lapis during Hari Raya seasons due to small storage...So, for those who wants to place their order, please go to my cake's blog and do so:)))

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Durian feast

Our faculty is having a durian feast initiated by other members in the faculty:))) I was not a durian lover, however this informal gathering is fun to join in, plus all the ladies just eat as all the big bros doing the job (kopek2 the durians:))))

Here are some pics taken with all the bosses working hard to entertain their anak2 buah hahaha!!!! Thanks so much for the exclusive treat!!!

durians fresh from kebun uncle syima...
all the durian' experts discussing on the quality huhuhuh....

Not sure what Damhuji is up to...ketuk2 for best quality durian kot:)))

everybody is busy showing off the kopek skill!!!!

Damhuji with the screwdriver, speciall skill shown from the technical people huhuhu:)))

commenting and tasting...

this durian is peeled off by our Mr. Sepul hahahahaha!!!(see the half open durian!!)
sowey sepul jangan marah:)))

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Viva voce

Congrat to my ump-mate,Ida for her successful viva last friday:)) Finally, after years of hard works had pay off with sweet ending...Alhamdulillah

I was highly moved with that actually, and tetiba feel like submitting my thesis on the spot (padahal tak siap pun lagik huhuhu)...If doing Ph.D is as easy as this, must be lots of Dr. out there! Ok have to study now!(kata nak grad cepat hahahaha!!!)

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Forgiving not forgetting

Forgiving...this word has never come across my mind at this moment (I'm talking about these particular 'personssss'). For every pain they've put me through had scarred me deeply:((( Letting them messed up with my emotion was the stupid thing that I've shouldn't let happened, but can't help it:( I feel that I'm slowly losing my burning passion towards my career....sad to admit that:( Everyday, is the same unmotivated day to me....

For some people forgiving is the best thing to do which I think is true....but I'll need times to heal and forgive but surely NOT forget.Despite everything that had happened I believe there is something Allah had for me Insyallah...

Sunday, July 4, 2010


It's been a while since my last posting on Adam...Adam is now 2 years and 2 months old. He is sooooo talkative yet charming:) he is always 'anak abah' as he always claimed to be:)) but bed time is always with mama huhuhu:))) he loves to imitate almost every abah's like abah, sneeze like abah...but the cute part is imitating abah's way talking on the phone hahaha!!!!

Adam at bookstore...looking for his books

ready to jog:)))

trojan hairstyle:)))

at playground...


imitating abah on the phone...hmmmm like father like son:)))

Friday, June 25, 2010

Alisa new look

Alisa got a new hair style:))) But she personally didn't like it...It was my idea:))) I think she looks fresh and neat with the new hairstyle:)))



Thursday, May 27, 2010

Hardest moment...

I'm facing the toughest period in my career:((( This is not the first time though, but this is the hardest...

I do feel the pressure, with him trying to frame me,badmouthing me and blablabla...but I knew it's not worth confronting him as he's the man with no brain!!May Allah show him for the wrongs he did to others...

I convince myself that everything will be ok, and things happen for reasons...May Allah be with me. Insyallah...

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Happy Teacher's Day!


Mango choc cake for Alisa's teacher...

same for aiman...:)

Wednesday, May 5, 2010


Alisa had high fever starting on last Friday, so I brought her to the clinic. Doctor gave antibiotic which last for 3 days and according to him, the fever should be ok after that. During the 3 days period, her fever was so high (38.5-39 deg) with no sign of decreasing. Hubby didn't sleep for 3 nights taking care of her:((( Really appreciated him and grateful for having him as my hubby!! We were so worried because Alisa also had asthma and she's so fragile...just look at her skinny and small size, you'll knew it!!!

Finally, on the third day, her temperature has decreased and the fever was gone. However, I continually monitoring her temperature just to be cautious.She was ok for 2 days (I'm recording her temperature 3 times a day!).However during the second night, she got a fever again with 38 deg!!! I was shocked!!! I called hubby and asked him to come back home immediately, I was so trembling thinking of the possibility of H1N1, and Alisa is categorized as high risk if she's having H1N1 due to her asthma...

The next morning, we hurried to the specialist. Doctor ran a blood test and x-ray. From the result, he suspected that Alisa might has an influenza like symptom H1N1. My face turned white and I was speechless and surely Doctor noticed that. He told us to undergo the swab test for H1N1. I was praying the result would be negative, can't imagine what'll happen next...I was about to cry...!!

Finally,the result was out and it's negative!!! Alhamdulillah, we were so relieved.Felt half of the burden was lifted up from me...It was bacteria and virus infection at her lung.So, Doc prescribed an antibiotic + antiviral along with other medicines.According to him kids with asthma are prone to get lung infection with prolong fever or cough.

Friday, April 30, 2010

A Sad story...

I took this from my friend's fb and it touched me deeply as I read it...surely it'll touch you too...

To those who are married, .. Not married .. and soon to be married, I hope you will be touched with this story... MARRIAGE When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

DISC Profiling

Learn on DISC profiling during our team building. It is a personality test which is quite accurate and helpful in organization. After undergone the test, my result is I with a balance of C and S. 'I' person is known as Mr. /Mrs popular:)) uhuks... which I think suits me well hahahahaha.....

General Characteristics:
Direct. Decisive. High Ego Strength. Problem Solver. Risk Taker. Self Starter

Value to Team:
Bottom-line organizer. Places value on time. Challenges the status quo. Innovative

Possible Weaknesses:
Oversteps authority. Argumentative attitude. Dislikes routine. Attempts too much at once.

Greatest Fear:
Being taken advantage of.

Motivated By:
New challenges. Power and authority to take risks and make decisions. Freedom from routine and mundane tasks. Changing environments in which to work and play.

Ideal Environment:
Innovative focus on future. Non-routine challenging tasks and activities. Projects that produce tangible results. Freedom from controls, supervision, and details. Personal evaluation based on results, not methods.

Remember a High D May Want:
Authority, varied activities, prestige, freedom, assignments promoting growth, "bottom line" approach, and opportunity for advancement.

Be brief, direct, and to the point. Ask "what" not "how" questions. Focus on business; remember they desire results. Suggest ways for him/her to achieve results, be in charge, and solve problems. Highlight logical benefits of featured ideas and approaches.

Ramble. Repeat yourself. Focus on problems. Be too sociable. Make generalizations. Make statements without support.

While analyzing information, a High D may:
Ignore potential risks. Not weigh the pros and cons. Not consider others' opinions. Offer innovative and progressive systems and ideas.

D's possess these positive characteristics in teams:

Autocratic managers - great in crisis. Self-reliant. Innovative in getting results. Maintain focus on goals. Specific and direct. Overcome obstacles. Provide direction and leadership. Push group toward decisions. Willing to speak out. Generally optimistic. Welcome challenges without fear. Accept risks. See the big picture. Can handle multiple projects. Function well with heavy work loads.

Personal Growth Areas for D's:
Strive to be an "active" listener. Be attentive to other team members' ideas until everyone reaches a consensus. Be less controlling and domineering. Develop a greater appreciation for the opinions, feelings, and desires of others. Put more energy into personal relationships. Show your support for other team members. Take time to explain the "whys" of your statements and proposals. Be friendlier and more approachable.

I (Influence)

General Characteristics:
Enthusiastic. Trusting; Optimistic. Persuasive; Talkative. Impulsive; Emotional

Value to Team:
Creative problem solver. Great encourager. Motivates others to achieve. Positive sense of humor. Negotiates conflicts; peace maker.

Possible Weaknesses:
More concerned with popularity than tangible results. Inattentive to detail. Overuses gestures and facial expressions. Tends to listen only when it's convenient.

Greatest Fear:

Motivated By:
Flattery, praise, popularity, and acceptance. A friendly environment. Freedom from many rules and regulations. Other people available to handle details.

Ideal Environment:
Practical procedures. Few conflicts and arguments. Freedom from controls and details. A forum to express ideas. Group activities in professional and social environments

Remember a High I May Want:

Social esteem and acceptance, freedom from details and control, people to talk to, positive working conditions, recognition for abilities, opportunity to motivate and influence others.


Build a favorable, friendly environment. Give opportunity for them to verbalize about ideas, people and their intuition. Assist them in developing ways to transfer talk into action. Share testimonials from others relating to proposed ideas. Allow time for stimulating, sociable activities. Submit details in writing, but don't dwell on them. Develop a participative relationship. Create incentives for following through on tasks.

Eliminate social time. Do all the talking. Ignore their ideas or accomplishments. Tell them what to do.

While analyzing information, a High I may:
Lose concentration. Miss important facts and details. Interrupt. Be creative in problem solving.

I's possess these positive characteristics in teams:
Instinctive communicators. Participative managers - influence and inspire. Motivate the team. Spontaneous and agreeable. Respond well to the unexpected. Create an atmosphere of well being. Enthusiastic. Provide direction and leadership. Express ideas well. Work well with other people. Make good spokespersons. Will offer opinions. Persuasive. Have a positive attitude. Accomplish goals through people. Good sense of humor. Accepting of others. Strong in brainstorming sessions.

Personal Growth Areas for I's:
Weigh the pros and cons before making a decision; be less impulsive. Be more results oriented. Exercise control over your actions, words, and emotions. Focus more on details and facts. Remember to slow down your pace for other team members. Talk less; listen more. Consider and evaluate ideas from other team members. Concentrate on following through with tasks.

S (Steadiness)

General Characteristics:
Good listener; Team player. Possessive. Steady; Predictable. Understanding; Friendly.

Value to Team:
Reliable and dependable. Loyal team worker. Compliant towards authority. Good listener, patient and empathetic. Good at reconciling conflicts.

Possible Weaknesses:
Resists change. Takes a long time to adjust to change. Holds a grudge; sensitive to criticism. Difficulty establishing priorities.

Greatest Fear:
Loss of security.

Motivated By:
Recognition for loyalty and dependability. Safety and security. No sudden changes in procedure or lifestyle. Activities that can be started and finished.

Ideal Environment:

Practical procedures and systems. Stability and predictability. Tasks that can be completed at one time. Few conflicts and arguments. A team atmosphere.

Remember a High S May Want:
Security in situations, sincere appreciation, repeated work patterns, time to adjust to change, limited territory of responsibility.

Create a favorable environment: personal and agreeable. Express a genuine interest in them as a person. Provide them with clarification for tasks and answers to "how" questions. Be patient in drawing out their goals. Present ideas or departures from current practices in a non-threatening manner; give them time to adjust. Clearly define goals, procedures and their role in the overall plan. Assure them of personal follow-up support. Explain how their actions will minimize the risks involved and enhance current procedures.

Be pushy, overly aggressive, or demanding. Be too confrontational.

While analyzing information, a High S may:
Be openly agreeable but inwardly unyielding. Internalize their concerns and doubts. Hesitate to share feedback during presentation. Slow down the action. Provide valuable support for team goals.

S's possess these positive characteristics in teams:

Instinctive relaters. Participative managers - accomplish goals through personal relationships. Make others feel like they belong. Show sincerity. Can see an easier way of doing things. Focused and intuitive about people and relationships. Full of common sense. Buy into team goals. Dependable. Identify strongly with the team. Strive to build relationships. Provide stability. Consider elements of a total project. Realistic and practical. Even-tempered. Provide specialized skills. Show patience with others. Loyal.

Personal Growth Areas for S's:
Be more open to change. Be more direct in your interactions. Focus on overall goals of the team rather than specific procedures. Deal with confrontation constructively. Develop more flexibility. Increase pace to accomplish goals. Show more initiative. Work at expressing thoughts, opinions, and feelings.

C (Compliance)

General Characteristics:
Accurate; analytical. Conscientious; careful. Fact-finder; precise. High standards; systematic.

Value to Team:
Perspective: "the anchor of reality." Conscientious and even-tempered. Thorough to all activities. Defines situation; gathers, criticizes and tests information.

Possible Weaknesses:
Needs clear-cut boundaries for actions/relationships. Bound by procedures and methods. Gets bogged down in details. Prefers not to verbalize feelings. Will give in rather that argue.

Greatest Fear:

Motivated By:
Standards of high quality. Limited social interaction. Detailed tasks. Logical organization of information.

Ideal Environment:
Tasks and projects that can be followed through to completion. Specialized or technical tasks. Practical work procedures and routines. Few conflicts and arguments. Instructions and reassurance that they are doing what is expected of them.

Remember a High C May Want:
Autonomy and independence, controlled work environment, reassurance, precise expectations and goals, exact job descriptions, planned change.

Prepare your case in advance. Delineate pros and cons of proposed ideas. Support ideas and statements with accurate data. Reassure them that no surprises will occur. Submit an exact job description with a precise explanation of how that task fits into the big picture. Review recommendations with them in a systematic and comprehensive manner. Be specific when agreeing. Disagree with the facts rather than the person when disagreeing. Be patient, persistent, and diplomatic while providing explanations.

Refuse to explain details. Answer questions vaguely or casually.

While analyzing information, a High C may:
Become overly cautious and conservative. Get too bogged down in details. Avoid or postpone decisions, especially if they perceive a risk. Be an effective trouble shooter.

C's possess these positive characteristics in teams:

Instinctive organizers. "Do it yourself" managers - create and maintain systems. Strive for a logical, consistent environment. Control the details. Conscientious. Evaluate the team's progress. Ask important questions. Maintain focus on tasks. Offer conservative approaches. Emphasize quality. Think logically. Will share risks and responsibilities. Work systematically. Will strive for consensus. Diplomatic. Analyze obstacles.

Personal Growth Areas for C's:
Concentrate on doing the right things, not just doing things right. Be less critical of others' ideas and methods. Respond more quickly to accomplish team goals. Strive to build relationships with other team members. Be more decisive. Focus less on facts and more on people. Take risks along with other team members.

Taken from :

Sunday, April 18, 2010


When it comes to work, I've been mumbling the same thing!!!Even I hate this very much, how can't he noticed that or if he's so dumb, why can't he do something to prove that he worth a respect...or at least...act WISELY!!

After all the bad things he did to us, framed me and my friends indirectly, he also contributed to total damaged in our office!!!Can't he realized that??? Or, is he the real dummy!!?Talk like dummy and act like dummy!!!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


We were invited to support in "Jangan buang bayi" campaign. So, we came out with this idea, which I think the root of the problem...It may seems funny and we were tergelak2 while doing this, but personally I think this is one of the way to tell the teenagers where they ended up (di akhirat) by doing all those uncivilized act..So, think of it ok:))

Clear message...the drawing was accomplished by our talented artist...azna:)))

azna is drawing 'hell' writing 'jauhi maksiat'

sya and ng enjoying the moment...